Hi everyone! To those of you who made the circle and to those who couldn´t be there,
I was going to upload a recap of our circle through video form but found out that my site was unable to upload the video since it was too long and big after our talk. So, instead we must try to adapt and I will instead write summaries for those who were not able to attend and for those who would like to look back at the information later on.
We initiated our circle by giving thanks, for the women before us and their contribution to the women we have become and remembering the holistic important of our self-work:
We then started the circle by introducing ourselves and our intentions for joining the class and everyone shared why they had been inspired to join and their intentions. For some it was for accountability on their self-care journey, for more awareness, others it was learning more about what self-care is especially how to understand the feeling of “being selfish” in regards to self-care. For others, it was about finding their own spirituality and an interest in decolonization and the attempt of removing themselves from how they were raised to be/believe and find their own space in spirituality. Finally, for others shared the need for a more holistic approach to living and growing and being able to assist others towards the same path.
I shared how my intention was to share some of the tools and ways I have become lighter but also my beliefs when it comes to holistic healing and self-care. I shared the tipping point in my life, a small one, but a day that marked the end of one approach to life and the beginning of a new one:
It was during my University years, I was rushing late to yet another school activity, I barely had time to dress accordingly and I rushed in just in time for the event (tipping on late). I talked about how that had become routine, how I was just getting by constantly, just making my hand-ins and just making it in my day-to-day life. There wasn´t much routine in my life, I didn´t take much pride in how I showed up in the world, all while excusing my approach with the belief that I was just “a laid-back person”. Yet, I was constantly feeling stressed and anxious because of my lack of leadership within my own life and worn out by just being dragged by it. I made the choice to change then and there, to start thinking ahead, preparing ahead and being the head of my life. Since I didn´t know how exactly to do that, the fact that I knew I was ready for a change drew me to finding methods and ways to create a life where I wasn´t consistently just getting by and just showing up but living more with intent and awareness.
I took up journaling more purposefully ( I had always journaled but more as a way to share my current life here and there) but journaling with the intent of understanding myself, of defining my goals and my desires for my life and how I wanted my life and daily routine to unfold, slowly made way for me to start working towards those desires and those goals.
I also reflected on colonialism and religion and the idea of the good person – the self-sacrificing person – a role that I feel that black women often feel is the only role they were put here to play. A role that robs us and that depletes us while offering no source for replenishment. I shared how we need to redefine selfishness, to understand that putting ourselves first is putting everyone we love in the best position. When we love from fullness, when we give from fullness and self-awareness, then we love from a whole place that benefits everyone around us too. When we love from emptiness, we don´t love freely, we unconsciously often expect those around us to return the favour, because we believe that love and fulfilment are constantly outside of ourselves, and so if we are giving all we have, we expect and hope that others do the same. I believe that to love from a whole place, to give when we are full is to love without attachment, without the guilt of the receiver who gets from a giver that gives from an empty well – Our love and whatever else we share instead, should come from an abundant place, where we share simply because we desire to share, desires to share in our abundance and to multiply it in and with others.
Finally, I talked about how in-order for us to know what we need, we needed to go within, to be present with ourselves and our feelings and needs. We needed to find a way to re-parent ourselves – but this time by knowing what we actually need to grow abundantly, to have more ease in our lives, to find comfort and care. I reflected on how growing up, our parents did the best that they were able to do, they gave us all the best that they could master, it might not have been enough or in the love language that we needed it to be – but that it was what they had or were willing to give. As we mature and grow, we cannot keep holding ourselves hostage to the short-comings of our childhood or our guardians; rather, we should understand that we are now mature enough to take on the responsibility to fill in the gaps, to heal the cracks and to create a new garden for ourselves and future generations to come. The torch that has been passed on since the beginning of time, from generation to generation is now in our hands and we can´t waste it longing for what could have been, especially when we have the power to start creating what should have been and what we wish to be one day.
I also shared how our healing is not just our own, but our parents, our ancestors and our future offspring. How in the Eurocentric worldview, we see the world as linear and things only moving towards the future but in many indigenous worldviews, life is circular – The past, the present and the future all live in the now. What we heal now transcends the present, what we built now to repair the past and what we aspire to for tomorrow breathes life in this present. Everything is right now and we are capable, as black women, to mend these spaces in time, in the present through our own healing. But first, we must go within, know within and consult with ourselves to understand where to begin –
We ended the circle by affirming the following statements:
The assignment for the first day, which carries over to the second day as well, is a self-reflection assignment – that can be download, printed or, preferably, completed in your own personal journal. Click the link below 🙂
For tomorrow, there, will be a video up on the site, plus a journaling assignment – I will send you all an email concerning that when it is all up 🙂
I thank you all who could attend the first circle and I hope that for those of you who were not able ( or won´t be able in the future) that you can still follow along with the self-work assignments and get the best out of these 10 days!
With the best of wishes and hoping that life finds you blooming wherever you are planted