“Declutter your mind, your heart, your home. Let go of the heaviness that is weighing you down. Make your life simple, but significant.”
Hey sis :), quitting isn´t something I have ever made good friends with. For me, it was how I stuck through university semesters where each new assignment made me just want to stand up in the middle of a lecture, walk towards the exit and never look back. Quitting was just something I really tried not to see as an option when applying to both schools, projects with others as well as love (to some detriment of course too).
After university, I realized that I actually felt worst about quitting on other people´s expectations of me. When it came to my own projects, however – ha! Quitting CEO was my favorite title when I wasn´t busy with my Do-it-Tomorrow Title. Realizing this was an awakening I strongly needed. Practicing respecting my own authority over my own life was a challenge worth conquering and not giving up on.
Sticking to it
Fast forward to now – 3 years later and I have actually managed to start a few projects as well as keep at them, with me as the sole authority and manager. It has been rewarding to see what happens when you do start to take yourself more seriously and lovingly. With excitement – I have packed on more projects and more visions as my trust in my own capacity to follow-through grew. Like a faithful swinging scale that the art of balancing life is, I have seen myself swing my way away from one imbalance to a new one. Yet, to be honest, that is exactly how balance is often obtained or at least experienced. We test out the extreme edges (or as close to) to know where the golden middle space is to found for our particular needs and wants.
This month for me, started out with the desire to reevaluate and edit my life, to do less for more. It has mostly involved letting go of things, projects, goals and spaces that are taking more time or mental space (mental wellness) than I am willing or want to trade for. Just cluttering up my mental space to be honest.
Health over length
“Health over length” is a motto I think I live by when it comes to my hair, but in all honesty, I still hesitate every time I know it in my soul (and eyes) that it is time to cut some ends so that healthier growth can take place. Letting go, cutting off to let grow, however, was really visualized for me during my time in Brazil. Where often I would see full bushes be trimmed naked only for them to grow back stronger, lush and healthier.
So, the first thing I am letting go of is my beloved Instagram account/s – the personal one and perhaps even the one for the Abantuhaven community (as well as the platform itself probably). While I believe in the community, I just know that in order for it to grow and thrive, one would truly have to put in the effort and love. While I love the project, I just don´t think that I am willing to put aside other projects at the moment to grow it. Also creating it was more from a place of wishing that it already existed so I could use it haha – not so much that I would have to be the one doing all the work and keeping it floating. Before letting it go- I am trying to see if someone might volunteer to care and grow the community themselves and I could just supervise here and there. So, let´s see.
Deciding to quit Instagram was inspired by becoming more aware of how I started feeling about the platform. It all started reminding me of why I had decided to quit facebook almost 5+ years ago and never looked back. It was also becoming more aware of the emotional and mental rollercoaster I was finding myself in suddenly. Studying more about how the platform is/was created, I learned how it was created to exactly disable you mentally and emotionally so that you would continue using it – mostly for the benefit of its owner’s pockets rather than your own personal wellbeing.
(Resources: How Social Media Affects Your Brain, Sam Vaknin: the TRUE toxicity of social media revealed)
When I heard that “the platform rewards those who keep chasing the carrot or feeding the beast the most” lol, I knew that perhaps it was time to take a little break from feeding or engaging with the beast altogether. While Instagram will always hold a dear place in my heart for the things it has brought into my life- I just realized that again – I preferred to channel that energy and mental space creating more, having to do less.
Deciding finally to do that, to let go, instantly made me feel so relieved. I could breathe easier, an indicator of heading in the right direction. Just having fewer things taking up mental space made me excited to think about what else I could cut away actually!
For you, it might not be social media, but perhaps it is the number of activities, organizations, projects, social circles you are apart of. It could also be the material things you have in your life that are chipping away at your peace of mind that you need to reevaluate in order to breathe easier. To live lighter.
All this to say that sis, sometimes the solution is doing less so you can do things, not just better, but with more presence, with less clutter, physical and mental. There isn´t anything more profound in this weeks post except that: Knowing when to commit and when to quit in itself can be a profound enough practice in your pursuit of balancing and living holistically.
P.s, also check out my video on slow living and mindfulness in a big city that promotes being busy and rushing through life.
I wish you well, I wish you bloom whenever you are and in all that you do. Even if that bloom only comes in the form of the courage and wisdom it takes to know when to cut a few weary branches off so you can keep growing.
Love, light and courage